


Eternally

by nashcreates



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Jalec Gift Exchange 2018, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Season 3A and Post, Suicide, Tv show dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 14:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16139372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nashcreates/pseuds/nashcreates
Summary: One simple word holds so much power. Jace struggles with another trauma after being tormented by Lilith. The team does their best to help him, but sometimes life can push one off the edge a little too far.





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> Hi jacehairondale! I'm you're gifter! I apologize for the delay in posting, but life's been somewhat tough and I basically wrote this all in one sitting (aka today). Any who, I hope you enjoy your story and I hope I fulfilled your request! I look forward to seeing your comment! Your request was right up my alley with all the angst, so I definitely packed in the feels!
> 
> And to all of those reading my story, I appreciate each and everyone one of you greatly. I also want to thank shirasade and the Jalec Squad for helping throughout this process. Even though it was a crunch, I had so much fun doing it! 
> 
> Without further ado, I give you "Eternally"

Valentine lay dead on the floor. Raziel prevailed high in the sky.

Ragnor was an onlooker to the heart wrenching sight before him: parabatai, lovers were huddled so closely together it was impossible to tell where one body ends and the other began. Screams were cried that the warlock would never forget in his immortal life.

The blond’s blood was staining the wet soil underneath him and the angel’s illuminating light shone through his pale, translucent skin.

“No, no, no, no, no! Baby, stay will me! You have to look at me, ok?” Jace was wheezing and cheyne-stokes breathing, his eyes were glazing over. “Baby, please!” Alec didn’t care that he was breaking the law in front of the very angel. He only wanted his parabatai in good health, and knocking on heaven’s door wasn’t a sign of good health. He had to save his lover. “I wish for Jace Herondale to come back to life.”

“Young Lightwood,” the angel spoke, “I am not God; I cannot take or give life.”

“No, no,” Alec solemnly declared. “There has to be something you can do! There has to,” his voice cracked. The older boy crippled more into his lover as he felt him slip away. “Please, angel, you have to stay with me.” Desperate for anything, his soul was slipping away. Jace nodded as his body ran cold; he was doing his best to hold on, but he was getting tired, oh so tired. “You have to help me! Please, he’s slipping!”

“Two souls coiled together cannot be separated, Young Lightwood. I am not the one who can help, tis only you who can.”

“How?”

“The deepest love will set him free. The love from the one he loves the most will breathe him back to life. You, Young Lightwood, are the only one to hold this power as his lover and parabatai.” Alec looked at his fading lover; he had never been ashamed of his love for Jace, but know hearing it aloud in the presence of an angel made him fearful. “Young Lightwood, I am not the one who set the rules in place for condemning the heart of love. For that was an action committed by the flesh. You and the love for your parabatai are safe here in my presence.”

Alec smiled, a sliver of warmth shedding through his body. Jace gasped for air. Looking back down at Jace and rubbing the blue lips of his angel, Alec requested, “tell me what to do.”

“It is a risky task. He could take you with him to the underworld.”

“If aught but death part thee and me,” Alec quoted, “I made a vow just for that. Now, tell me!”

“Very well, Young Lightwood. You must open your living soul to him, allow him to feed off your life. Since your soul is already tethered to his, you must be careful and not allow the bond to pull you into the darkness.”

“I will. I’ll bring him back!”

“The heaven’s are on your side, Young Lightwood.” Raziel retreated into his haven, living the parabatai and warlock all their lonesome.

“Ragnor, quick! We have to portal back to the Institute!” Ragnor created a green illuminated portal as Alec carried the limp body that belonged to Jace.

**.....**

Izzy and Clary had prepared the room to attend to Jace’s wound. The blond was barely conscious; his hair was matted to his forehead in cold sweat and his clothes were drenched in staining blood. They hadn’t removed the sword from his body yet. The lethal weapon was lodged between his rib cage and his heart chamber; it so far lodged that it was piercing his fifth vertebrae in his back.

Oh the irony that the object taking life was the one to also save life.

“Are you sure you want to do this,” Izzy’s voice rang with concern.

“Absolutely,” Alec declared pensive. He couldn’t let Jace slip through his fingers, not again.

“Alec-”

“No, Izzy! It’s now or never, and if you want to be reason why we don’t go through with this, you can get out of my way.” He towered over her in firmness. He knew his sister was concerned about his well being, but to Edom with his well being if he couldn’t have Jace. He would rather die by his side then live the rest of his mortal life quasi-soul.

“Alexander, let’s be reasonable about this. The last time you went through with this, it almost killed you. Neither one of you will be in proper condition to bring the other back if one of you were to slip,” Magnus reasoned. Ragnor looked over at his lover. He didn’t understand the stakes of what was impending. Magnus hadn’t seen the light go out of Alec’s eyes; he hadn’t heard Jace take his last conscious breath; he hadn’t seen the parabatai lovers melt into the Earth as one; he hadn’t seen Alec prepared to follow Jace into the darkness. No, he hadn’t bared witness to any of that.

Right now, Ragnor knew Alec felt utterly alone, so he decided to make his allegiance known. The green warlock glided across the room and handed the boy the Adamas Stone. Magnus let a slight gasp escape his lips.

“Thank you,” Alec said. Ragnor smiles warmly and then eyed his lover.

“You would’ve done the same,” he simply said. “We all would.”

Alec saw the tears in his sister’s eyes. He walked towards her, “please, Iz. Understand, I can’t live without him.”

“And I can’t live without either of you.” Izzy never cried, but now her makeup was running down her face and she didn’t have a minuscule care about it. “Not after Max, I- I just can’t.” Clary looked towards her friend and gave her hand to grasp. “Please, Alec,” she begged, “don’t let him take you with him.”

“Both of us will return,” Alec declared placing a kiss atop her forehead, “I promise. Three go in, three go out, remember.”

Izzy smiled. “Three go in, three go out.”

“Alright, we haven’t got that much time,” Magnus interrupted hastily. “My magic can only sustain him for so long. Alexander, I’ll ask again, are you sure you want to go through with this?”

Alec walked over to Jace’s too cold body and ran his stele over his parabatai rune. He then did so to himself and focused all his energy to the stone in his hand. Alec slid into the dark world along with Jace. _Don’t worry, my love, I’ll bring you back to the light._


	2. Chapter 1

Jace gasped for air as he felt his throat constrict. His hair was matted to his forehead in sweat and his eyes drooped from the bags underneath his eyes. It was only a few weeks ago that he had been brought back from the dead. Yet, he could still feel the pain of where the pocket knife had stabbed him. Jace had felt cold for the longest time, and then he felt the truest warmth from his lover and he guided him back to life. 

 

“Angel, you have that dream again?” Alec sat up with tired eyes and bed head, but had a firm grasp on Jace’s waist. 

 

“It’s nothing,” Jace lied as he kissed him. “Go back to sleep.” Jace ripped the wet sheet off himself and started getting ready for the day. 

 

“Jace-,” but it was too late. Jace was already out the room. 

 

The blond stood underneath the shower head and let the scorching water rinse off the grim he felt from his dreams. Jace felt disgusted. He had been dreaming about a woman; he had never wanted a women, only Alec. Yet, somehow, he couldn’t get her sweet voice out of his head.  _ “Come to me, my owl,” she said.  _ She said that every night. Jace could feel the touch of her skin on his as they got closer and closer to making sweet love. So far, in his dreams they had only kissed, but the blond knew sooner or later the dreams would escalate into something further.  _ Who are you, racked through his brain.  _

 

Jace grabbed his wash soap and begun scraping away at his skin until he bleed. The hot water wasn’t doing the trick anymore. He wanted her touch off of him. Whoever  _ her  _ was. Somewhere along, he began crying too as he felt he couldn’t shake her. “ _ Get away, get away!”  _ He would shout in his dreams. “ _ Get away from me.” _

 

_ “You are to do my bidding,” she would say.  _

 

_ “No, leave me alone. Leave me alone.”  _ Jace has been backed into a corner in his own mind and felt lost. He had never felt the terror to this degree that she was causing, not even when he was beat and traumatized his first ten years of life with Valentine.  _ Valentine. Maybe the lady was related to Valentine?  _ “No, that can’t be it,” Jace thought to himself. Valentine is dead. Long dead, so dead. Like decapitated and body burned to ashes dead; there was no way Valentine could hurt him now. Yet here Jace was standing in the shower allowing blister burns to form on his skin from paranoia that someone was out to get him. 

 

_ Knock knock knock.  _ Someone was at the door. Jace gasped and looked towards the door, hoping he remembered to lock it.  _ Knock knock knock.  _ Now whoever it was was pounding on the door. Jace wanted to tell “go away,” but his voice was caught in his throat. He heard the voice on the other side say something along the lines of “they’ll break the door down.”

 

“No, no, no!” Jace screamed at the top of his lungs and began washing his skin harder. He was trapped between two people: one in his mind and one on the outside of the door. His skin broke and now he was standing in the midst of a blood bath. “Get away,” he shrieked as the door caved in. Jace only saw a shadow of a hand reach for the shower current before he closed his eyes. 

 

Alec found his lover in the shower folded into himself. The bathroom was steaming hot, and Alec burnt his hand just turning off the shower knob. He grab a towel and immediately wrapped Jace in it who was shaking violently. Jace had his face covered with his blistered, bloodied hands and was sobbing. “Jace, sweetheart?” His boyfriend made no indication he recognized his voice; Jace only folded himself into a fetal position even more. “Sweetheart, it’s alright. No one’s out to get you. You’re safe now. I promise, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.” Alec was still panicked but did his best to send love and calmness through the bond. “Breath with me, angel,” he said reaching out to pull Jace’s hands away from his face. He began stroking his cheek gently as he saw his face was red and blotchy from the steam and tears. “Jace, it’s alright. I’m here. Entreat me not to leave thee or return from following after thee,” Alec chanted. “I’m never leaving your side, baby boy. You’re stuck with me forever.”

 

“Alec?” Jace finally looked up at him, still shaking, but finally had a hint of recognition in his eyes. 

 

“Yeah, baby, it’s me.” Jace hesitantly reaches his hand out to confirm it was indeed Alec in front of him. He pulled away though before he could confirm the real Alec was in front of him. Jace simply knew by touch who Alec was.  Alec, however, grabbed Jace’s hand before he could fully return it to his side and placed the calloused for years fingers on his cheek. He let Jace’s fingertips graze over his face and the blond mapped out his cheekbones, his hair, and finally his lips. 

 

“Alec,” Jace said throwing himself into his lover’s arms. He felt pitiful; he was a soldier, born and breed. He wasn’t supposed to be falling apart in his lover’s arms. Let alone, he wasn’t even supposed to have a lover at all because to love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed. Jace was for sure being destroyed right now, and even though he had no reason for his mental torture, he surely wasn’t going to let the darkness contain Alec. He would always save Alec from the dark, just as Alec would always guide Jace back to the light. “Baby.”

 

“Hey, my love, I’m here. I’m here.” Alec shushed and stroked the wet streaks of hair as Jace held onto him for dear life. 

 

“Alec,” Jace said on repeat as he tucked himself into his boyfriend as far as possible. 

 

“Let’s get you out of here, alright.” Jace nodded his head as he held onto Alec to steady himself. Alec stabilized Jace on his stable legs picked him bridal style; Jace melted into his touch. When Alec sat him down on their bed, it was then he recognized Jace had burn marks and blood all over his skin. “Baby, what happened?” Jace was still shaking and refused to tell him. “Tell me,” he cooed. He looked at him pensively and rubbed his thumb over Jace’s cheek. Alec took one of Jace’s hands into his other; the left hand had blister burns that were bursting open. Blood was dripping down his arms and onto Alec’s sweatpants from where he was scratching away his attackers. His demons. “You have to tell me so I can you. Please?”

 

Jace kept shaking his head. “No, no, no. I can’t. I ca-,” he bent his head down. “Don’t make me, please.” Alec’s eyes filled with tears; he had never seen Jace so scared, not even when he had to wake him from his nightmares when he had first come to them. Alec went to grabbed some neosporin and cloth bandages to tend to Jace’s wounds. 

 

“This is going to sting a little.” Jace just sat there and let the tears fall silently, numb to the world. He didn’t even flinch when Alec cleaned his wounds. Jace did his best to avoid scratching his wounds even further, still feeling her touch on his skin. Alec ran his stele over Jace’s healing wound to make the tender ache go away. He didn’t push any further for answers, but he was becoming concerned at this point. Three weeks. The same day on repeat for the past three weeks. Ever since he had revived Jace from being stabbed, Alec was forced to wake Jace from his night terrors and his screams. Sometimes Jace would sneak out of their bedroom and go on hunts Alec assumed before he could be comforted by his parabatai. Alec was running himself ragged trying to keep up with his boyfriend’s mania. “There, all done.” Jace looked up at him with guilt as if he had something to apologize for. Jace just slide off the bed and got ready for his day; he couldn’t drag Alec though this. He had an Institute to run. He couldn’t put his needs above the Institute's or for the good of the mundanes. He needed to be a soldier, and that’s exactly what he did. Jace painted his cocky, carefree soldier-esc persona on his face and started his day as if nothing happened. 

 

“Good morning, Jace.”

 

“Good morning, Inquisitor Herondale.”

 

“Nonsense, Jace. You call me grandmother.” Imogen had been staying at New York Institute to help rebuild after the war. She also wanted to help with her grandson’s recovery. Imogen had been at a standstill when she found out Stephen and Celine’s son had survived. She was elated and terrified that she had some blood left alive. Imogen didn’t even know how Jace felt. Before the whole ordeal, she paid attention to the Lightwood-adopted boy as much as the rest of the Shadowhunter’s society did; Jace Wayland was one of the best soldiers of this generation and arguably one of the best of all time. Other than that, she didn’t spare the blond a second thought, however, when she looked into his eyes for the first time, she saw her son’s reflection. She saw Celine’s heart. Without a doubt, this was her grandson! Imogen loved him wholeheartedly and she felt as of Jace were her second chance at life. They were both figuring out how their relationship would work, but she felt that Jace was pulling away in recent weeks. Imogen couldn’t bare losing her last blood, not after the Lake Lyn Incident. 

 

“Um, right,” Jace said falling out of step. It still caught off guard that he now identified as a Herondale. He tried his best to not get too attached to the name. He had already had so many name changes; he didn’t want to deal with another one. 

 

Imogen saw that that was the end of that and tried to move forward with the conversation. “Right, ok, so do you have any plans for today?”

“Just go on a routine mission. Maybe go to Hunter’s Moon later tonight. Not really much on the plate.”

 

“Ok,” she said turning to leave seeing that he wouldn’t tolerate her break-the-ice conversation. Just as she left though, she felt a tug in her heart. “If there’s ever anything you want to talk about, I’m here for you. Whatever you need, Jace. I want to be there for you. I know that we can’t have this fantasy I imagine. I know that I can’t have this close desired relationship I imagine, but I hope you know you don’t have to keep secrets from me. I’m always willing to make myself available.”

 

Jace turned to face her, “I’ve got nothing to hide.” 

 

Imogen bit her lip and nodded at lie. “Well, the offer still stands.”

 

“Inqui- grandma,” Imogen perked up at the mention of her name.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“My pleasure, grandson.”

 

**.....**

 

“Another night of no sleep?” Alec turned his head to the side and gratefully took the cup of coffee Izzy passed him. 

 

“Yeah,” he muttered taking a sip of his black coffee. 

 

“Maybe, he should go seek treatment,” Izzy said hesitantly. “From the Silent City.” 

 

“Absolutely not,” Alec said firmly. 

 

“Alec, I know that would mean the two of you would be separated, but what if this is for the best?”

 

“No.” Alec dismissed the thought from his attention. Izzy was just speaking crazy talk at this point. He knew his sister was worried about Jace’s well being, but the Silent City was not the answer. 

 

“Hey, Jace!” Jace turned to see Clary walk in. She had sweat running down her forehead, but other than that she looked fine for coming in from a mission. 

 

“Hey, Clary! Mission go alright?”

 

“Yeah, wasn’t too bad. What took the longest was getting to location, but it’s all good now.”

 

“Glad to hear.” Jace turned back to the monitor.

 

“You looking for a mission?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Clary looked worried and hesitant to ask, but went ahead anyway. “Are you sure that’s a good idea.”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

 

“Just, I know you’ve been having a rough time lately. That’s all.”

 

“You don’t have to worry. I can take care of myself, got that?” Clary wasn’t typically on the receiving end of Jace’s cold nature, but she bit down the chills that ran down her spine and followed him to the weapons room. 

 

“Are you sure Alec would want you going out?” She knew it was a low blow, but Alec would never forgive her if she let Jace slip through her fingers.

 

“What Alec doesn’t know can’t hurt him.”

 

“You can’t exactly hid away from your parabatai, Jace. If there’s something on your chest, you’re not alone. You got us, a family that cares about your well being and we see that you are suffering.” Jace just kept prepping his seraph blade. “You’re not a burden to us,” Clary exclaimed knowing that was the root of Jace’s problem for not coming clean.  

 

“Just back off.” Jace stomped away leaving Clary to her vices as she watched him walk away.

 

Jace didn’t even know where he was headed. He was just wondering around until he found something that needed rescuing. He hadn’t meant to be short with his loved ones but he couldn’t stand their smothering when he was already drowning in himself. Jace walked the streets of New York for hours, until last light. He hadn’t found a single demon much to his dismay; he was hoping he could blow off some steam. 

 

The blond redirected his steps to Hunter’s Moon figuring if he couldn’t fight out his frustration he could at least drink them into oblivion, even if the feeling only lasted a short while. 

 

“Could you do a girl a favor and get me one of those?”

_ That voice, _ he knew it. Somehow, somewhere. “I’d love to, but I don’t think my boyfriend would like that very much.” 

 

“I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just you seem to be the only person who can get any service around here.” 

 

“Right,” Jace turned around and hailed the bartender. “Can I just get one more?” Jace thanked the bartender and handed the girl her drink. 

 

“Whoever he is, he must be wonderful.”

 

“Yeah, he is.”

 

“To true love.” Jace cheers with the stranger, still puzzled how he knew that voice. Little did he know, she was his demise. 

 

_ Jace Herondale, you took my boy from me, and now I will destroy and the ones around you. Just you wait. _


	3. Chapter 2

_ Her lips were dripping with poison as the curve of her lips masked his; he was stoic, but inside, his soul was screaming for release. Every day, he slipped through his own fingers and more into hers.  _

 

_ Flashes of a deflect rune appeared, but quickly went as it came. In the flash, however, the image of pretty hazel eyes changed to soulless black ones. “Come to me, my owl.” _

 

Alec lay awake looking at the clock. It was four in the morning, and still no Jace. The bed was cold and there was too much space in it for the Shadowhunter’s liking. Alec felt the slight frantic beating pulsate through the bond. Sometimes Alec loved feeling Jace’s every emotion, but sometimes, like times like now, he hated feeling Jace blocking him. 

 

The Lightwood boy had had enough. He got out of bed and threw on a shirt before going out into the common’s area to begin his search for Jace. He found his boyfriend looking at the monitors in the main room. “What are you still doing up?” 

 

“I have to go through the rest of this surveillance footage,” Jace answered while activating his stamina rune. 

 

“Jace, angel, at some point you’ve got to get some-”

 

“I can sleep once I find him.” 

Alec took a seat next to Jace frustrated and sighed heavily. “The owl isn’t your problem. Not alone anyways.” Alec reached out to grasp his hand, “we’ll find him together.” Jace pulled his hand away though. That hurt Alec, badly, and Jace saw the pain reflect in his eyes. 

 

“I’m sorry,” but it wasn’t all that remorseful. “Hey, baby, look at me.” He whispered his lover’s sweet name and cupped his cheek. While no one was around, he kissed him gingerly. His sweet scent dance across the tip of Jace’s tongue. 

 

“Just remember, you also have to take care of yourself,” Alec soothed leaning his forehead against Jace’s. “For now, come to bed and lay with me. I miss you.” Alec knew in a couple of hours they’d be back up with Jace pushing him away and he pushing for answers. “Please, I need you.”

 

Jace took a breath to calm his anger. Why couldn’t he just be left alone.Out of all people, he didn’t think he’d have to put it in perspective for Alec. “Seven mundanes have been murdered in the last forty-eight hours. I think I know who it is. That face has to be a glamour.”

 

“For who? Who’d want to hide themselves?”

 

“I think the Owl is Jonathan.”

 

“Jace, you can’t be serious,” Alec said more alert. “Jonathan’s dead, you killed him!”

 

“He’s apart of Edom. He was already half-dead when he got here.”

 

“Well how do you propose we catch him?” 

 

That part, Jace didn’t want to tell Alec. Along with the dreams of the woman, Jace had been visited with torments of murdering Alec. He couldn’t get Alec close to this. “I’m not sure yet.”

 

Alec saw something in his lover’s eyes. He saw fear and paranoia. He saw defeat. “We’ll get him. Whoever he is.” He reached out again and this time Jace allowed him to hold his hand. “But for now, come to bed.” 

 

Jace gave in, knowing he’d wouldn’t sleep a wink, but at least he wrapped in Alec’s strong arms; there, he knew, nothing could hurt him. 

 

Alec led them to their bedroom and watched Jace change into his pajamas. Alec held onto Jace and watched him fall asleep. Whatever paranoia this case was causing Jace, he wanted to be there for him to stop it. He wouldn’t stop at anything. 

 

_ “Bring me another faithful disciple,” declared Lilith.  _

 

_ “Yes, my queen,” chanted Jace in his comatose state. The Owl was doing well in following his queen’s orders. He had to help raise her fallen son, and he would stop at nothing to please her.  _

 

Jace walked the halls that lead to his queen. 

“I have another job for you.”

 

“Whatever you need, my queen,” swore Jace on bowed knee. 

 

“The blood sacrifice is almost complete. There are 32 disciples, one more and Jonathan will be ready. Now go find me my last virtuous mundane.”

 

“I will.”

 

Lilith walked towards him like pray. “Rise.” She looked at him smugly with malice. “When you scream and beg for death, I will smile. Now, kiss me. You will need your energy.” Jace leaned in, obeying his command. Yet, he realized his lips didn’t fit on her mouth the way they did on another’s. 

 

_ Shirts were being snagged. Hushed whispers and laughs were exchange as if they were like kids trying not to get caught. His touch felt right on Jace’s skin, not hers.  _

 

Yet just as quickly as the thought came, it vanished. 

 

**.....**

 

Jace sat twiddling his thumbs waiting for Luke. He didn’t know what to expect, but he feared his prediction. Too much was on the line if his demons became a reality. Ever since, he momentarily snapped out of his blackout, Jace thought it best to seek out someone for his paranoia. He didn’t want to go to her grandmother to ask about his mother’s mental health problems, she’d catch on too quickly. His next safest bet was Luke, albeit he’d eventually catch on soon. 

 

“Jace, Jace, Jace!”

 

On instinct, Jace pulled out a dagger and held the weapon to the voice’s throat. 

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude chill! It’s me, Simon,” the vampire boy said. 

 

“Simon,” the phased blond muttered under his breath. “Simon?”

 

“Yeah, Simon, you’re best friend.”

 

“Simon,” Jace says realizing the person in front of him. Ever since Simon had made that “Captain America” comment a few months back, they had been inseparable. Clary Fray was a force to be reckoned with when she came crashing into the Shadowhunter World. Simon, her mundane friend, was transformed into a vampire not too long after her entrance. Jace,knowing how it felt to be lost in a new world took Clary under his wing and she found solace within Alec who helped to mentor her. He was thankful that someone he had come to view as a sister wasn’t seen as a threat in his boyfriend’s eyes because Alec was very protective and possessive. “Hey, Si, what’s good?”

 

“Nothing much, buddy,” Simon declared apprehensive as he rubbed his throat where his dagger was.  

 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” the Shadowhunter confessed seeing the vamp rubbed his sore neck. 

 

“You ok?”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?”

 

“Ever since Lake Lyn,” Simon hesitated, “I know it’s been hard for you.” Jace bit his lip. First Jonathan, then Valentine killing him at Lake Lynn, and now his paranoia, he was at a lost. “What are ya doing here?”

 

“Ugh, just waiting for Luke. Yeah, we’re just meeting for lunch.”

 

“Oh, ok.” Simon knew this was a little out of the norm since Jace and Luke were only ever in the same room to discuss business matters, not to catch up on one another’s day. “Anything I need to know about?”

 

Jace opened his mouth to lie, but the bell chimed signaling someone had come in. Thank Raziel it was Luke. “Hey, Luke! Over here,” he waved the werewolf over. “Talk to you later, Si.” Jace patted him on the shoulder and moved booths to greet Luke. “Thanks for coming,” the blond said as they seated. Luke looked towards him to figure out the meaning behind their lunch gathering. “Um, back in Idris, you knew my mom, right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Yeah, um,” he cleared his throat, there was no easy way to say this, “I know she killed herself, but before that her medical records say she exhibited symptoms of psychosis. Was she, was she confused,” he asked trying to his best to formulate his thoughts. “Did she forget how she got places?”

 

Luke looked at the young man who had the world ripped away from him. He didn't deserve the torment he went through. “Sometimes it seemed like that. She’d talk to herself,” he continued, “see things and people who weren’t there.”

 

“Wasn’t there anything anyone could do for her?”

 

“We tried to get her to go to the Silent Brothers, but she refused. She was afraid they would declare her unfit for duty. We did what we could on our own, but nothing seemed to make a difference, except when your dad, Stephen was around.” Jace slightly perked up at the mention of his mother and father having a love so strong that mirrored he and Alec’s. 

 

“Yeah, Imogen told me that after my father died, she used to wear his ring around her neck,” he said fiddling with the same ring that was now around his neck, “and never took it off. Maybe that’s why, maybe maybe it made her feel close to him.” 

 

“I know it must be hard for you thinking about your mother and what she went through, but she was an amazing person, who helped create another amazing person. So don’t forget to hang onto the good.”Jace looked at him solemnly because he didn’t feel good. He couldn't sleep or eat or think straight. He thought someone was constantly out to get him. The only person who knew what he was experiencing was dead, but maybe she still held an answer that he needed.


	4. Chapter 3

“Come in,” Imogen said looking up from her paperwork. “Ah, Jace. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

 

“Hey, grandma,” he said sadly. It was still foreign to call her that. 

 

“I like the sound of that. Take a seat my grandson.” She noticed the weight on his shoulders and the bags underneath his eyes. Imogen laid a hand on his shoulder as he sat and felt him tense. She could tell Jace had to remind his muscles to relax. 

 

“You said that if I ever needed to talk, you were willing to be here,” he started.

 

“My offer still stands,” she said sitting in front of him.

 

“Well, I more so need a favor first, before I can talk.”

 

“Ask,” she said nonchalantly.

 

“Do you think it’d be possible to get me a portal to Idris? I just want to see my mom.” Imogen was taken aback at the mention and did her best to swallow the knot in her throat. “I mean, her grave, I guess,” Jace muttered. 

She sighed as a solo tear ran down her face. “What is this about, Jace?”

 

Jace bit his lip contemplating whether or not he should say, but the world was caving in on him and this time it was too much to handle. “A lot has been happening lately and I just need some answers. I think I’ll find them in Idris.”

 

“I can come with you if you want.”

 

“No, I need to do this alone.”

 

“I think you need someone there for you. How about Alec? He is your parabatai and your-,” Imogen caught herself before she said it. She believed in upholding the law, but some laws were just ridiculous to her, such as forbidding parabatai to fall in love romantically. How could you not expect one to fall in love with the carrier of their soul? “I know he’s your boyfriend, Jace.” The blond swore all the air got sucked out the room the moment she finished her sentence. He wasn’t even sure where to begin to deny it. “It ok, Jace, like I said, your secrets are safe with me.” She held his hand and found that he was shaking. “Oh, my son,” she said bending down next to him seeing that he was crying, “everything will be alright.” Jace fell apart and cried; he had never felt unconditional love from anyone except Alec, and now he was having his grandmother, the Inquisitor mind you, tell him she didn’t care he was breaking the law as long as he was happy. In the midst of all this misery, there was a silver lining. “Talk to him. Let him know you’re suffering. You know he won’t judge.” 

 

“I can’t put this on him. It’s too much. I can’t I can’t I can’t,” he trembled. 

 

“Sweetheart, the world can be so cruel and even crueler to the best of us.” She was crying now too. “Look at m, Jace, look at me.” Jace didn’t want anyone to see him like this, but he obeyed her command. “You are the best of them all. You have a heart that’s the purest gold. I know this because you have your mother’s heart. She would always put others before herself and make sure they were taken care of first. She didn’t have a fair life either, but she had you and your father. And you’ve got me, your friends, and most importantly Alec. Go, go to Idris and I pray to the Angel, you find the answers that you seek.”

 

Imogen called upon Magnus to create the portal and he promised to be discreet about it, but the warlock wasn’t above breaking his promises if he thought it was needed. He knew Alec had no knowledge of this, so he figured he’d cross paths with the Lightwood at some point.

 

Jace landed in Idris in front of his parents’ graves. Magnus said he’d create a portal to bring him back to New York in an hour. Weeds and vines vandalized their graves. Their son bent down to clean away the roots. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about bringing any flowers. I should have.” Everything was quiet around him; he was left to his thoughts. “Maybe I should’ve come by sooner, I don’t want to disturb your peace, but I just have so many questions. How’d you do it, mom? How did you live like this day in and day out for years?” Jace did his best to not cry because he felt he had cried more than enough tears lately, but he couldn’t hold back the flow. “It’s all enough to make you want to end it.” He ran his hand over her grave and traced her name, Herondale. He had finally belonged to someone. “I don’t blame you, not for what you did. No one understood your suffering, but I do. And I don’t think you’re crazy or should have been deemed unfit for duty, but this world we live in, our society and the mundanes’ as well, they just don’t understand people like us. People like us need help mom, not judgement.” He took a breath to try and steady himself. “Just tell me what to do. I need my mom.” Jace felt foolish for asking such a demand, but right now he felt like a small child who wanted to take comfort in his mother's embrace from the terrors of the world. He was never allotted that, btu he sure could ask for it and he knew this was the closet he’d get to it. He rubbed his face and cleared his throat. “Alright, I didn’t just come here to dump all my worries on you. I actually wanted to tell you about myself. My birthday’s January 18th, 1991, but I’m sure you already knew that,” he laughed at himself easing the tension. “I love spaghetti and I hate black coffee, but my boyfriend loves it. Did you ever think you’d have a gay son? Well, bisexual. I’ve dated many girls in the past, but this guy,” Jace smiled at the thought of Alec, “he’s the one for kinda like how dad is the one for you. He’s my sunshine on the darkest days, my smile and my heartbeat. He’s the love of my life, mom. I wish you could meet him. You’d love him, both of you. He’s taken care of me ever since I was ten. He let me know true, unconditional love. I fit perfectly into his grasp. He’ so understanding and concerned and loving. He would have gone the extra mile to gain your approval, but I swear, as soon as you saw how great he treats me, you’d be begging for him to stay with me.” Jace took peace in talking about Alec to his parents. He felt like a typical young adult who was flustered at the thought of his significant other meeting his parents. “His name is Alec Lightwood, you might know his parents,” Jace teased. “He’s the prime definition of tall, dark, and handsome.” Jace sat there for his remaining hour telling his parents about his wonderful boyfriend. 

 

**.....**

 

Magnus opened his door once he heard a knock. “Alec, darling,” he said trying to act calm, “how are you?”

 

“I’ve been better. I’m sorry to have barged in, but I was wondering if you’ve seen Jace. I’ve tried calling and texting him, but he’s not responding to either.” Magnus debated about what to say; he had created the portal for Jace earlier that afternoon, but he should have been back hours ago. Thankfully, Alec kept talking so he didn’t have to decide what to say. “I know I come to you for a lot and I apologize, but without him, I’m nothing.”

 

Magnus couldn’t take seeing this broken look on his face. He had to come clean. “Alec, I-.” Alec’s cell phone rang. It was Izzy on the line. 

 

“Alec, hurry! We’ve figured out who the owl is!”


	5. Chapter 4

_ “Alec, hurry! We’ve figured out who the owl is!” _

 

“Who?” Izzy replied but Magnus couldn’t hear her answer. “No, no! That’s not possible.” Magnus had never seen Alec lose his head so quickly. Ragnor walked into the living room when he heard all of the commotion. “How? Izzy, please tell me this is all a lie!”

 

“What’s the matter,” asked Ragnor. Magnus shrugged and tried to listen closely to the conversation. Alec slammed in phone shut and clenched his fist. 

 

“I have to go, but I’ll be back.”

 

“What’s the matter, Alexander?”

 

Alec bit his tongue, “we’ve found out who the owl is.” The couple waited to hear the answer. “It’s Jace.” The both gasped. “I don’t know how, but somehow Lilith got to him and now she’s starting her uprising, I have to go and stop him, but stay here and stay alert. We might need your help to bring him back.”

 

With that, Alec was gone and headed in towards the coordinates had sent him. Magnus shut the door and walked back to Ragnor. “Call Izzy. See where she is. If Lilith is starting an uprising, they’re going to need backup not just off the battlefield.”

 

Ragnor nodded but before he made the call he asked, “how did Lilith get her claws into him?”

 

“I’m not sure, but I’m going to find out.”

 

**.....**

 

The alleyway was dark and cold, but Alec couldn’t fear his surroundings. He had a job to do, he had to save Jace. Jace stood in front of him, his eyes were soulless. Alec blamed himself for not seeing this all before, however, he couldn’t worry about that. He needed to save him boyfriend. The began to battle. Alec didn’t want to hurt Jace, but he knew he would have to injure him in order to save him. Alec stabbed Jace in his leg and pulled the sword out swiftly, hoping Jace would fall, but the blond didn’t. 

 

Jace was putting up a fair fight and he wasn’t budging. “Jace, listen to me! I know you’re still in there and i know she’s got you. None of this is your fault, but you’ve got to fight it. Fight Lilith off!” Jace kicked him hard in the abdomen and he stumbled backwards into a wall. Jace wrapped his hand around Alec’s throat and began to squeeze slowly and tightly. “Jace, stop! This isn’t you!” Alec did his best to reach for Jace’s hand and pull in away, but Jace grabbed his wrist and broke it in one swift move. Alec screamed in agony as he slumped to the floor. He crawled away from Jace and began to plead with him. “Baby, please, look at me. You know me,” he heaved, “you’d never want to hurt me.” 

The creature possessing Jace’s body let out a murderous laugh. “Your boy is crying, you know,” the creature declared towering over alec who was on his back, cradling his wrist. “He’s begging me, begging me not to do this.” The owl reeled his arm back and then forward to plunge the arrowhead into Alec’s heart; Alec caught him with his one good hand and stopped the forceful motion of the arrow. 

 

“Jace, I know you’re in there. It’s ok, I forgive you.” Jace began to plunge the arrow into his heart slowly, and Alec gasped for air as he felt his body being intruded. “It wasn’t you. I’m sorry we couldn’t save you, angel.”

 

“They say the worst pain a Shadowhunter can feel is the lost of his parabatai,” the owl seethed pushing the arrow further into Alec’s body. “C’mere, it’s time for Jace to finally feel it.”

 

Alec was getting cold and weak. “Angel, please. If you can hear me fight him off.”

 

“It’s too late.Twelve years too late.” Alec’s eyes began rolling into the back of his head. He never thought he die of the hands of his parabatai and lover, but rather in them.

 

“Alec!” Another voice caught both the boys off guard. It was Magnus. Alec sagged back into the ground at the relief of backup, but Owl-Jace was furious. Magnus unleashed a magic so great, he thrust Jace back into the wall and diminished the demon with inside him. Jace shook from the expulsion and was half conscious. He only mustered energy to remain coherent when he saw Alec with a arrow lodged in his body barely moving. 

 

“Alec, Alec!” Jace crawled runned to his lover. This was a serious case of deja vu, except the roles were reversed this time. “Sweetheart, please. Stay awake, stay awake. I’m so sorry.” All Jace ever wanted was to protect his lover, but now Alec was about to die from his boyfriend’s own hand. “Magnus, please, you have to fix him!” Magnus looked into the blond’s eyes and saw the sorrow and torture he had been caused. Jace hadn’t been paranoid. He had been tortured beyond repair. 

 

“Ok, give me your hand. Your life force it the only that can save him!”   
  


Jace gave Magnus his hand and raised both of their shirts to activate their parabatai runes. He felt the life go out of him, but he wouldn’t let Alec down. Alec groaned in pain, tears streaking down his face. “It’s alright my love. You’ll be fine. I’m going to take such great care of you, once Magnus heals you, alright?” Jace made that promise, but he wasn’t sure how he would keep it because he didn’t trust himself around Alec anymore. Alec nodded his head and morphed his mouth to form words. “Shh, shh. Don’t speak. Save your strength.” 

 

Alec, with his broken hand, took Jace’s other hand to rest on his cheek. He wanted Jace to touch him, to kiss him. “Love you,” he struggled out.

 

“And I love you too, baby.” Jace bent down and laid Alec in his lap, then connected their foreheads together. He shared his warmth with his boyfriend and slipped into the darkness with him.  


	6. Chapter 5

Three days had passed before Alec regained consciousness. The entire time Jace never left his side, but refused to get close. He had to keep his distance. His mind had been playing on repeat how he had pushed the arrow into his lover’s heart, and how even more sadistically, he enjoyed the feeling of life going out of him. 

 

Everyone had recommended Jace go to the Silent City for treatment, but he was too ashamed to. Too fearful to. Plus he wasn’t going anywhere without Alec waking up first. Jace’s eyes were permanently puffy from all the tears he had cried. He had cried himself dry. Jace just sat and watched his lover in peace as he slumbered on. He hadn’t heard someone walk in. 

 

“Jace,” a soothing voice called. He jumped.  His nerves were so frantic and haywire.”It’s me, Cat. It’s been a while since we’ve met. How are you doing?” 

 

“I’m fine,” Jace said hoarsely. He hadn’t spoken, eaten, or slept in the three days Alec had been in the infirmary. 

 

“I don’t think you are Jace,” she said gently, “and I don’t think you believe that either. I’d like to talk to you about it, if I can?”

 

Jace looked back at Alec. It was his fault they were in this predicament. “It’s all my fault,” he finally opened up. “I almost killed him. I almost killed Alec.” Just when he thought he didn’t have anything left to cry, a new batch a hot tears came crashing in. 

 

“No, sweetie,” she said comforting him. The blue warlock placed her hands on his lap to stop his violent shaking. “You saved him.”

 

“He wouldn’t need saving if I hadn’t stabbed him in the heart. He wouldn’t need saving if he never gotten near me.” Jace was hyperventilating and becoming belligerent. He couldn’t stop himself though. For so long, he had put this off and now it was all coming out. “I should’ve never let Alec near me. Valentine was right. I only hurt the people I love. They get too close and I destroy them.” 

 

Catarina tried her best to calm him down to no avail. “You’ve got to breathe, Jace. This was all the work of Lilith. She tortured you. She made you her slave. None of this was your fault.”

 

“The owl, the owl was Lilith’s pawn, not me!” Catarina looked at the floor not realizing Jace hadn’t been aware of Lilith’s control over him. “Wait a minute, so you’re saying that I- I killed those seven mundanes and that I almost helped her raise Jonathan from the dead.” Catarina didn’t verbally answer, but her silence was more than enough. Jace gagged and fell out of his chair onto the floor. He crawled away. The room was closing in. “No, no, no!”

 

“Jace, calm down. It’ll be alright.” 

 

“No, it’s never going to be alright! I have had innocent blood on my hands and I don't even have remorse when I did it. Don’t you get it, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed hearing them take their last breath and seeing the light go out of their eyes. Every time since i closed my eyes, I would see them dead and I would hear her voice and I didn’t know who or why. But when she kissed me, I felt so out of place, I was back in my own body for a second and wanted Alec’s touch not hers.” He was rocking in a ball in the corner of the room. He was also pulling his hair out. “Everything you’re saying, I don’t want it to be true.”

 

“What do you mean, Jace? Did you know?”   
  


“No, but when she kissed me, I knew I didn’t like it. I had no idea where I was, but then she pulled me back in. I went to talk to Luke later that day about my mom. I know she has psychosis and that she killed herself, but I wanted to be wrong. I don’t want this. I don’t want to be crazy!”

 

“You’re not crazy, Jace, and neither was your mother. Both you just need some help. I’m here to give you the proper aid your mother never had. I’m telling you now, there is nothing wrong with having a mental health issues.It’s not a problem, it’s just apart of who you are. Yet, it doesn’t define. It only makes you stronger! You are not crazy!”

 

“I’m losing my mind.”

 

“No, you’re not, you’re not, Jace. During your time under Lilith’s control, you suffered from psychosis, and now you’re dealing with the repercussions of it in the form of PTSD. But I’m here to help you, I won’t let you fall and drown in your depression and neither will your friends and family. You’ll beat this!”

 

“She’s out to get me.”

 

“No, she’s not Jace. She’s gone. I promise.” Catarina took him in and allowed him to cry himself to sleep. She magicked him into the bed with Alec, knowing he’d find comfort there. 

 

She walked out, shutting the door silently behind her. 

 

“How is he,” asked Clary with Imogen, Luke, Simon, Magnus, Ragnor, and Izzy behind her. 

 

“He’s got a long road ahead of him. He’s suffering from a lot of guilt and torment.” Catarina sucked back her own tears before she continued. “We all need to be on high alert for Jace. I’m deeming him suicidal.” 

 

…..

 

Alec awoke a couple of days later with Jace’s hands clasped around one of his. “Hey, my love.”

 

“Alec!” Jace allowed himself to kiss Alec, but gave him nothing more than a peck. 

 

“Don’t push me away, please.”

 

Alec saw his dull, tired eyes and knew they’d have a long road ahead of them. “I hurt so many people, Alec, including you. How can you still love me?”

 

“Angel, you had my heart before all this madness. I fell in love with you when we were kids because you had the kindest heart and the warmest smile nad loved me unconditionally even when you were afraid to love. You’re so strong that you can overcome any obstacle. I know right things will be rough, but good days are coming. That I know. It’s you and me against the world forever!”

 

Jace smiled feeling as if he could breathe for the first time in a long time. He knew when he went to sleep, his problems would arise once again, but for now, he took solace in his lover. 

 

As the weeks dwindled on, Alec got stronger and Jace became more frazzled. It’s like they were ten and eleven again. Jace would scream in agony and Alec would soothe his cries. Jace would then apologize for being such a mess and for waking Alec up, but Alec never mind it. 

 

Catarina came to the Institute weekly to check on Jace and treat him. She along with Alec would drag him out of bed and get him to eat on days he felt like shutting out the world. Other times, she would just sit there during their two hour sessions if he didn’t fill up to talking. Other times, she’s sit there and comfort him while Alec held him as he cried because he was remembering the horrors of Lilith’s tortures. Alec prayed for a breakthrough. He needed his Jace to be alright. He wanted Jace to be able to trust himself around him again. He wanted to see the light back in his eyes. 


	7. Chapter 6

Three months had passed since Lilith’s banishment and Jace was making progress, slow but sure progress. Jace’s nightmares didn’t scare him to screams hardly anymore and he was now actually able to give a genuine smile. They had even managed to bump Jace’s therapy sessions down to every other week, but some days there was still a struggle, but Alec was grateful for each and every day he had with his lover. 

Today, Alec had a special surprise for his boyfriend. He was going to propose. Before the whole ordeal with Lilith occurred, the two threw around the idea of marriage, and now with everything they’d been through, Alec figured they both deserved stress from an exciting event, their wedding day. 

 

Alec was positive Jace was going to say yes, but he was still nervous. He had hid the Lightwood Family Ring in his desk. He grabbed and walked to their bedroom where he knew Jace would be. “Angel,” he said sweetly opening up the door, “I have a surprise for you.” Alec had now walked entirely into the room and shut the door behind him, but his blood ran cold when he saw Jace on the floor with a dagger to his heart. “Sweetheart, what you doing?” Alec gently got down on the ground with Jace and slowly crawled to him. He knew any sudden movements would cause Jace to react quickly and he wouldn’t have time to grab the knife away. 

 

Dry tears stained the blond’s face as new one formed in his red, beady eyes. “I can still hear her voice, you know. And your screams I, I can never get your screams out of my head. She wanted me to kill you and for a moment, I wanted to kill you too.” Jace pushed the knife closer and closer to his chest. “I wanted to hurt all those people. I enjoyed it, so I must have.” Jace laughed through his cries. “That’s pretty sickening right, wanting innocent people dead. Right! Answer me!” Jace was looking dead at Alec for an answer.

 

“Baby, listen to me, this is just another one of your episodes, alright. But we’ll get through this. Like we always do.”   
  
“Don’t you get it. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of fighting my own mind, my own memories, my own hands, my feelings for you. I love you too much to hurt you and I can’t keep hurting you.”   


  
“You’re not hurting me.”

 

“Liar! Every time when I look into your eyes, I see how much stress I’m putting you through. How much of a burden I am.”

 

“Sweetheart, you were never a burden. Never have been. Never will be. We’ll get through this.”   


  
Jace choked on his sobs. “No we won’t. I can’t. She’s never going to let me go.”

 

“Yes, we will and Lilith’s gone, remember that? We defeated her. She can’t come back to get you.”

 

“You can’t, you can’t stop her-”

 

“Yes, she is stoppable. We stopped her.”

 

“No one can.” Jace gripped the dagger even tighter to make a more accurate aim. “There’s only one way to help me. There’s only one thing to do. There’s only one way out, but I need you to do it because I can’t.” Jace was a wreck. “Please. Please, I’ve tried. I’ve tried so many times. Please, Alec I’m begging you. I need you to do this,” Jace asked slipping Alec’s hands onto the dagger and positioning fit just right to make the kill. 

 

“No, no. Never, Jace, listen. This is all temporary. It’ll be better soon. It won’t always be like this.”

 

“Yes it will. Yes it will. Please, Alec release me from this. I can’t-,” Jace bowed his head and bit his lip. He knew Alec wouldn’t kill him, it was a long shot, but he needed release from his torment and this was truly the only way out. He couldn't walk around the rest of his life paranoid and fearful of himself; he also couldn’t drag his loved ones with him. “Alec, I just want you to know that- I’m so sorry.” Jace forced the dagger into his heart and then quickly took it out. Soon blood began spilling on the floor. 

 

Alec jumped into action. This was Lake Lyn all over again. He covered his hands over the wound, but he knew this time, Jace couldn't be saved. Alec felt the tug of his soul pulling away from him and screamed. “You have to take me with you! Take me with you! No, please, Jace,” he bowed his head down on his lover’s chest and felt his heart beat slow. “Please, don’t give up, please.”

 

“I’m sor- love you…”

 

Jace eyes glazed over. His body went slack in Alec’s arms and he breathed his last breath. 

 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Alec was seething at the world for taking away his only light, for being so cruel to his lover that it forced him to take his own life. Alec shut Jace’s eyes and kissed his  lips one more time. By the time Clary, Izzy, Imogen, Luke, Magnus, Ragnor, and Simon found them, Jace’s blood was spreading across the floor. Alec just rocked his boy in his arms, praying he had a peaceful and safe journey to the next life. Alec leaned and whispered in his ear, “Atque in pepetrum frater et mi semper, ave atque vale.”

 


	8. Epilogue

Alec stood with his hands behind his back as he looked over the balcony of Magnus’s apartment. Today would have been Jace’s thirtieth birthday; eight years had passed.  Alec had wore the Herondale Ring ever since Jace’s funeral and he had buried Jace with the Lightwood Ring and his wedding vows. Jace was given a proper burial and died a Lightwood. Alec insisted and was granted his wish. He thought of himself as a widow; a widow who never made it down the aisle.

 

Some days were harder than others. Most days he wished he would’ve followed Jace, but he only kept on living because he knew Jace wanted him to. He knew they would have their reunion one day and that Jace was waiting for him on the other side. But even now, death couldn’t keep them apart. Everyday, Alec felt his lover’s presence and ever night when he went to sleep, he wasn’t lonely. He felt Jace’s strong arms wrapped around him. On days like this, Alec could smile because he knew Jace was no longer suffering. He knew he was at piece. 

 

Alec heard the clatter of heels behind him. “What do you think he’s doing?” Alec had his hand on his scared parabatai rune.

 

The voice waited to answer, pondering the question. “I think he’s laughing,” Imogen said, “I think he’s smiling and looking down on us carefree.”

 

“I think you’re right.” A part of Imogen had also died that day, but somewhere deep down, she knew her grandson might meet the same fate as his mother. “I believe all three of them are happy and protecting us. They’re just waiting for us to come and join them.” 

 

Alec looked over his shoulder and gave her a soft smile. They had grown closer in the past eight years. Imogen had been there to hod Alec together after he had buried his lover, and she made it known to him that she supported their love of one another. 

 

“Uncle Alec,” a little girl screamed happily as she came running. “C’mon, you have to blow out Uncle Jace’s candles!”

 

“Madzie, my favorite little sorceress!” He leaned down and picked her up to spin her around. The young girl laughed. She loved her Uncle Alec. 

 

“Uncle Alec,” another voice called.

 

“Mi hermoso y valiente muchacho,” he replied back to Rafael and ruffled his hair. Soon, another pair of footsteps followed, this time an uneven pater. Little Max came toddling in. Alec sat Madzie so he could pick up his youngest nephew. “And my sweet blueberry,” he declared kissing the baby’s chubby cheek. 

 

“C’mon, c’mon, rapidito,” Rafael said pulling on Alec’s pants leg. “You don’t want to miss it.”

 

“Alright, alright. I’m coming,” he laughed. Alec turned to walk back into the apartment with Max in his arms and Madzie and Rafeal on his sides. He stopped dead in his tracks, however, when he felt a flicker in his scared parabatai room. He saw a memory. 

 

_ Shirts were being snagged. Hushed whispers and laughs were exchange as if they were like kids trying not to get caught.  _

 

_ “Shhh,” Alec chastised through laughs, “we can’t get caught.” _

 

_ “Don’t worry, we won’t. Promise.” Alec smiled and kissed Jace passionately. Finally, after ten years of pinning, Alec got what he wanted: Jace’s romantic love. “You sure you want to do this,” Jace asked to check for the umpteenth time. _

 

_ “Yes,” Alec said pushing him onto the bed and already fumbling with the blond’s zipper. “I want this and I want you more than anything in the world.” He cupped Jace’s cheek to kiss him and the younger boy responded by grinding their pelvic bones together.  _

 

_ “I love you.” _

 

_ “Eternally?” _

 

_ “Eternally.” _

 

Alec smiled at the memory and turned his attention back to skyline when he felt a gentle breeze nudge him over his right shoulder. The sky was painted the golden color of Jace’s eyes whenever he’d self-activate his runes. He swore he heard a whisper say, “If aught but death part thee and me. I love you, my parabatai. Eternally.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know you wanted some post 3A stuff, jacehairondale, so I hope the last few chapters did you justice! I had such a fun time writing your request and I hope I'll get to flush out the story even more in the future. Thank you so much for your request, this fic was only possible because of you. * infinite amount of hearts <3 * 
> 
> Thanks again to shirasade and the Jalec Squad for allowing me to be apart of this exchange. I truly enjoyed myself!
> 
> Much love and appreciation to all the readers! I can't wait to read your comments [hint, hint :)]
> 
> How about that angst and heartbreak though?! I hope at least one of you went through a box of tissues! That was the goal :)


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